One thing that continues to blow my mind is how the stroke
affected every part of my left-hand side — my toes, my intestines, my ear
canal, even my eyeball.
My left eyeball now gets irritated easily. When I first
tried to soothe it with eye drops, the drop plopped in one side of my eye and
rolled out the other. I had no blink reflex because I couldn't feel the drop
hitting my eye. It kept happening, so I started calling my Visine, "Eye
Drop Outs." I had to learn to blink right away to "catch" the drop in
my eye. Once I could feel dampness on my lids, I knew the drop had reached its
target.
I remembered this lesson during my first efforts to pick up
exercise balls with my fingers. The balls kept popping out of my hand. I was
applying more pressure than necessary because I couldn't feel the ball
against my fingertips. I had to learn to moderate my grip pressure.
I was explaining this to a friend who suffers from
neuropathy. She said, "I know exactly what you mean! I was trying to pick
up a bobby pin and I couldn't do it, because I couldn't feel it!"
Wow. That was awesome not only to have my realization
affirmed — that a sense of touch is important to grip — but to be reminded that
if this stroke hadn't gotten me, some other thing probably would have. There is
just a whole smorgasbord of difficulties out there to suffer from.
Over time, as I've practiced moving the exercise balls, I've
begun to feel them. I had the clear sensation last week of the rough texture of
the balls brushing my fingertips as I released them.
