Thursday, December 22, 2011

Top 10 Benefits

This list balances the bad (see Top 10 Challenges) with the good. These are the Top 10 Benefits of My Disability:

10. No one expects me to help clear dishes at dinner parties.

9. I'm given the most comfortable chair in the room.

8. Any time I'm not in gym shorts and a tank top, I can claim to be "dressed up."

7. I have a legitimate reason to get regular manicures and pedicures.

6. I take a nap whenever I want to. (Oh wait, I used to do that anyway.)

5. I cut to the front of long theater bathroom lines and go into the handicap stall.

4. When the cashier at the market asks if I'd like help out with my groceries, I say "yes," and then I don't have to take my own cart back.

3. People hold elevators for me.

2. I have lots of stuff to write about.


That's all from me this year. Thanks for reading and happy holidays!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Top 10 Challenges

Time for those year-end Top 10 lists!
This is the Top 10 Challenges for the One-Handed.

This list could have been a Top 100. I've confined it to things I do on a regular basis. If something obvious isn't here, it's probably because I avoid it — i.e. zippers and buttons.

10. Getting the last bite of food onto a fork.

9. Taking a greeting card out of an envelope.

8. Putting a greeting card into an envelope.

7. Signing a credit card receipt – a short one that curls.

6. Opening that waxy plastic bag inside a cereal box.

5. Preparing a toilet seat cover.

4. Texting while driving*

3. Donning shoes while my dog confuses them for chew toys.

2. Removing fingernail polish.

1. Pinching one nostril closed while snorting allergy medication from a long-nozzle, pump-action bottle.

*Calm down – I’m kidding.