Years ago, I memorized prayers to meditate on – Christian, Buddhist, Hindu. The benefit was to put words in my mind that wouldn't otherwise be there.
… make me an instrument of Thy peace –
that where there is hatred, I may sow love …
In the early hours of Easter Sunday, my condition worsened. We had spent Saturday believing I had a mini-stroke, but a bad turn after midnight prompted the duty doctor in Baldwin Park to order me to a specialty unit in Hollywood. I overheard his phone call to the paramedics:
"Get her there as soon as possible – sirens going the whole way."
… whatever you do, make it an offering to Me – the food you eat,the worship you perform, the help you give, even your suffering …
My husband arrived in time to ride shotgun. I lay in the back of the ambulance reciting as the driver blared the sirens and swore at cars to move out of our way.
… He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
He leadeth me beside the still waters …
In the ER, I overheard the neurosurgeon's conversation with my husband as they studied an image of the black spot that had emerged in my right hemisphere:
"… irreversible brain damage … "
… grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change …
"Will her language be affected?" my husband asked. "She's a writer."
Oh, Great Powers of the Universe, thank you for my thoughtful husband.
And thank you for sparing my words.