Unlike every other thing about rehab, I loved my therapy sessions. And I was a refreshing change for my therapists; I had a good understanding of my body and a determination to get better. It was this, combined with my sense of humor, which prompted them to film me for a celebration of Rehab Week.
Most of the footage was shot in the gym at the rehab unit. Some of it was shot during my home visit a few days before my release. My therapists and I looked through the house for hazards and discussed strategies for coping without their help. My husband had already rolled up the carpets, put a handicap bar and seat in the shower, and added a second railing by the kitchen stairs so I would have something to hold onto with my functional hand in either direction.
I am grateful to have this footage as a benchmark of where I was. One of the hardest things for me about living with this condition is to celebrate the progress that has been made rather than focusing on how much further I want to go.
I think that if I had documentation, like a video, of myself when I came home, I would be far more cognizant of how far I've come. I now rely on my memory - and all of us stroke survivors know what relying on our memory is like - and my blog entries, which cover only my take on a tiny sliver of the pie. I would love to be able to focus on how far I've come instead of how much farther there is to go.
ReplyDeleteI think it's true of everything in life - that we don't realize how far we've come. Sometimes we don't realize how far down we've slipped either. When the change happens to us, it's very gradual and the differences slide by day to day.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, too, it's easier for us to look at where we want to be and where we are now and think that getting from B to C is too hard. At the same time we can't remember the progress from A to B. Acknowledging our growth, our work means giving ourselves credit for what we have accomplished.
Is the glass half full - the growth that has taken place - or is it half empty - how far we have to go? The truth is - it's both. It's the balance of realizing what we have achieved and what we want to achieve. The trick is to focus on both and not one to the exclusion of the other.
I'm glad you have this evidence of where you were because you have come a long way.
Marcelle, how nice to see and hear you! I loved seeing you laugh.
ReplyDeleteI had a bit for my Rehab place on cable TV a year ago but it is no longer on line and I am so sorry I didn't save a copy somehow onto my computer. (I do have a video tape off TV). I found it difficult and upsetting to watch myself and really didn't want to keep it at the time, but Barb is right. It is nice you have this to reflect on your progress; besides you are so personable and great on camera.
Thank you for being courageous and sharing your journey. It is truly amazing to see the difference between where you were at in this movie to now. Have you thought about taking more movies of your progress? I know I tell you this all the time, but you are an inspiration for me.
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